Church VII, His name shall be called.

It’s far past time to get back in the saddle. It has been quite the winter. The holidays attacked, leaving me less than thrilled to visit churches at such a volatile time. Then I lost my grandmother in December and my grandfather 3 weeks later.

My work schedule changed blah blah blah…all excuses to not finish what I started!  So, here I am again. I actually have a few undocumented visits under my belt which I will be releasing over the next couple of weeks in between live visits.

Revealing visits indeed!

Ah, the infamous Wednesday  night;  I was trolling the googleshpere looking for my next target, ahem, church, and was  making a common Miriam error of thinking it was Tuesday when it was indeed Wednesday. I chalk this up to having Mondays off.  Finally, after searching multiple church calendars which literally had nothing on them I realized it was Wednesday and my options quadrupled!

I was drawn to my next church because it is 1 of perhaps 7 churches within 20 miles of my ranch, and one of the only that I have not yet visited. However, I almost nixed it because the pastor and pastor’s wife pic had a distinct early 90’s TBN creepiness. Figuring that it would herald my return to the blog life it may equate to some interesting writing.

I changed from my work clothes to appropriate first time visitor apparel and I was off. Thankfully they included a correct address on their website, showing me that it was right behind the dominos pizza, which in Gainesville is a fairly decent landmark. I was running early for once so I rolled up and wasn’t worried that there was only 7 or eight cars in the lot. Mine was the sole car in the side lot, as their cars fit perfectly in the spots adjacent to the front door.

I walked around to the front and was confronted by twin halls. No way of knowing which door was where the service was, as luck would have it door number 1 opened into a hall where I could hear hurried last minute music rehearsal going on. I followed the music past a couple of Sunday school style rooms until it opened into the main sanctuary. I first spied the little girl putting together words from the TV dinner table in the back row, brings back memories of my childhood running the overhead projector. Good times!

There was a small clump of ladies in the front left corner, so I chose to go center right, and wait for the rehearsal to be over and the service to begin. On cue, the pastors wife from the picture spotted me and made her way over. You know that awkward moment when someone catches you eye from across a very large room and you know they are coming for you, and you aren’t sure exactly how to react during the 9 seconds it takes for them to get to you; well I used those seconds to quell my hilarious idea to call her by name and freak her out. I’m too nice.

She introduced herself and asked how I had found the church, if I knew anyone? I told her I had recently moved to the area, which she lit up about. She then said “oh were you looking for a Kenneth Copeland church?” I politely covered my shock, Kenneth Copeland church? Is that the newest denomination?

She invited me over to the cool kid side, and the service began. We sang 2 songs, and I didn’t know either of them, which is a first. Then the Pastor give a brief message about studying the Bible to meet your needs, and finding versus to tailor to your problems, punctuated by a lady in the front row telling the congregants about double-u double-u double-u dot bible gateway dot com as a good studying tool on the "internets." I then turned the Bible handed to me by the lady in my aisle over to find that it was a Kenneth Copeland Bible. Disconcerted to say the least.

After the tedious prayer request portion of the service and final prayer, Pastor’s wife brought me a nice little welcome package with a mug and a books of the Bible bookmark and asked me to fill out my info.  I gave my actual info leaving out the email, I don’t need to be on yet another email list.

Just today I got a nice little form letter about the church and the programs including kids, youth and widows, not quite my cup of tea, but thoughtful. I especially like that it was addressed to Miss Miriam Lilly! I have loved that moniker since I received my first letter in the mail with it from my friend Laurie inviting me to high tea.

All in all I may stick to churches not named after people, it just doesn’t seem quite right!   Stay tuned for my visit to the Nigerian church in Dallas which was truly remarkable! ;)